SOCCER ON THE SPECCY

This ones a bit weird - it was released by Alternative ages ago, and it's a footie adventure game.

Ber-limey. Having rescued it from the depths of the YS archives and dusted it down a bit I gave it a go. And, lo and behold, it's exactly like every other adventure I've ever played, but with the addition of that all-important footie element. What fun. Being a bit crap at both football games and adventures, you can probably guess what a pig's ear I made of it. Did I get past the first two rooms? (No.) It's got some quite nice piccies though, and I noticed that the vocabulary includes GROPE, KISS, UNDRESS, SOBER UP and HANG, although none of these seemed to have any results with my secretary (Ms. Jones).

It's okay I suppose and, dare I say it, quite flash. Not really in the spirit of the traditional footie game though.

 

This is generally said to be the fabbest footie game ever, although whether that's saying much isn't for me to decide. It's the sequel to, um, Match Day actually, which was the second(ish) arcade-type game to hit the tape-racks. With nice, big sprites and semi-realistic action, Match Day brought a whole new meaning to the word 'good'. The two-player feature was one of its major attractions, along with headers and other wacky, innovative moves. There were also a couple of peculiar bugs (something to do with balls getting stuck in goalposts and a funny timer, if my memory serves me correctly).

Match Day II captures the feel of the original, and adds on all kinds of extra features, such as a kick strength meter and much improved ball control. Along the same sort of lines is International Match Day for the 128K only, which was released at the launch of the Speccy 128, when 128K-only games seemed pretty hip - oh, those halcyon days. The programmer was Jon Ritman, the gentleman responsible for the first Batman game and the brilliant Head Over Heels.
 

"He has excelled in the creation of this game with his brilliance," remarks the inlay. It is describing, of course, Kevin Toms, and also provides a photo of his majesty for all to marvel at. The game, though, is of the 'lists of numbers' variety, with the dubious benefit of 'match highlights'. It's an update, would you believe, of the original Football Manager. The action sequences are a major improvement, thanks to the innovative use of Machine Code, but they get a bit boring after a couple of picoseconds as you just sit there and watch them. The lists are quite interesting too (as lists go), and should keep any number-fan occupied for a while.

For sheer historical accuracy, FM II deserves a mention. And it's also pretty good. Its only real problem is that it tries to be a bit of a jack of all trades, with its strategy stuff and flashy graphics. While this might appeal to most people, those who want to stick to one area might fare better looking elsewhere.
 

This doesn't really fit into any regular footie category. It's one of those dreadful joystick wagglers, I'm afraid. (Remember those? They were quite popular for an infeasible length of time. Basically you had to, um, 'waggle' your joystick back and forth until a) your hand hurt; b) the joystick broke; or c) you finished the event. Brilliant!) However, some may consider it a welcome break from all those lists and little men running about, so let's take a look.

There are millions of 'events' to plod through, all of which have to be played in a certain order. There are all sorts of things, ranging from Monkey Bars, through Squat Thrusts (yikes!) to Jonglerie Avec Balle (but only in the French version). Played individually they'd all he mildly crap, but taken as a whole they're, um, unbelievably crap. This sort of rubbish went out with Daley Thompson.

It's a pretty slick piece of work (the graphics are okay, and there's actually some music for a change) but this is hardly a proper footie game. And the poor bloke you control looks more like Clare Rayner than any footballer I've ever seen.
 

Best known in its 16 bit incarnations, the Speccy version of Kick Off (when it finally came out) proved to be quite a scrappy looking affair, with balls that went under the lines and goal markings that simply petered out for no reason whatsoever. But (but! but!) there still remained something to recommend it - the sheer speed with which it moved! There was no way you could accuse this game of slow and stodgy gameplay - the ball flew absolutely everywhere, bouncing around the players (overhead viewpoint, remember?) like the whole pitch was a giant pinball table or something. All of a sudden ninety percent of existing soccer games seemed pedestrian in the extreme. All in all then, it was easy to get into and a lot of fun (especially in two-player mode) but fell foul of some very scrappy graphics.
 

If realism's your thing, MicroProse Soccer could well be the footie game for you. It opts for a novel bird's-eye view, and packs in more options than you've probably ever opted for in your life (the 'banana power' being one of my personal favourites). There are all kinds of different sorts of matches to choose from, ranging from American six-a-sides to entire international World Cup things.

The gameplay is pretty complicated too. You can do all sorts of different kicks, like swerves and 'overheads', plus throw-ins, corners and all sorts of other wonderfully fun things. But its real strength is its speed. Boy, does it go - there's none of your usual half-hearted plodding about here, matey. The scrolling's ultra-slick, and sometimes you have to really concentrate hard to keep up with what's going on.

In the 'best Speccy footie game ever' stakes it's a toss-up between this and Match Day II really. The choice is yours.
 

One of Dr. Marcus Berkmann's favourite games (and he should know - he's reviewed about 80% of the damn things ever covered by YS!). A bizarre set-up, half strategy/half arcade game, this second shot at goal from Gremlin dispensed with most of the annoying niggles of the first game (like fourth division teams regularly beating first division ones in the quest for the cup) and added such diversions as international games and nine skill levels to keep your interest going.

So how does it actually work? Well, you play an individual footballer on a quest to gain the coveted 'Footballer Of The Year' accolade, and since you're a striker it's the goals you score that count. In both versions of the game you play Goal Cards to help you score, which then take you into mini arcade sequences - fairly simple in the first game, but the second involves set plays and things which you've got to remember almost American-football style in order to succeed. What's more, it even includes a footie trivia section, with correct answers adding dosh to your coffers. It all sounds very strange, and takes some getting used to, but once you do get the hang of it it's as addictive as anything. Just ask the good doctor...
 

"Brian Clough's Football Fortunes is a football management computer board game suitable for two to five players." Or so it says on the cover - what more can I say? You get the computer program, a board (which expands out from the size of a postage stamp to that of a small ploughed field), lots of cards, some counters and loads of money. The program takes care of all the boring bits, like rolling the dice and sorting out league tables, and the players do all the slightly less boring bits, like moving counters round the board and shuffling the cards.

The software's a load of crap. It's written in Basic, with useless graphics and, oh horror, the Sinclair character set. It does its job though. It plays just like any other board game really (they're all the same, aren't they, Spec-chums?), except that you occasionally have to press buttons on the computer.

It's okay for soaking up the odd evening now and again, but you really have to like football to get stuck into it. Me, I'll stick to triv games.
 

Here's another oddball that doesn't quite fit into the scheme of things. It's a footie-based arcade adventure, with all that that suggests. Yes, you have to plod round hundreds of screens, collect things and talk to people. There's even a plot - the whole Melchester Rovers team has been kidnapped just before a key fund-raising match. If the money doesn't get raised developers will move in and flatten the ground! What a shame.

There's also a fairly reasonable arcade footie sim tacked onto the end (for the bit where you've managed to rescue the team and then have to take part in the match) which can be practiced without having to play through the adventure bit. It's not what you might call 'state of the art', but it'll do. Bizarrely enough, it's not to bad a package, really - puzzles to solve, balls to kick and absolutely no lists of numbers to worry about.
 

This features in Microsoft Soccer, Kick Off and most of the Codies games, among others. It has the advantage that you don't actually get to see the player's faces (only their bald patches) and generally avoids some of the confusion you get in side views when too many players get all tangled in together and you can't quite tell what's going on. You often get a nice 3D view of the ball too, as it flies up into the air and then plummets back down to earth again. And on the minus side? Well, timing headers can get very, very tricky, but more importantly it doesn't always 'feel' quite right somehow. After all, when you watch a game of soccer, you never see it from above, do you?

A bit common, you get this viewpoint all over the place, but generally it's the most reliable method. It gives a good 'as seen on telly' angle, although things have to be quite well animated for it to work (not always the case) and you do tend to get horrible sprite 'scrums' at key moments.

Only spotted occasionally, in things like Gazza's Super Soccer, this technique can get very confusing indeed. You get a side view when the ball's in the middle of the pitch, but when you get near to either goal the whole thing flips round to give a sort of overhead/into-the-goal-mouth sort of perspective. All very well, but it gives you a godawful headache after a while.

Dace

CDS

Paul Lamond

Audiogenic

Silverbird

Virgin

Activision

Gremlin

Gremlin

D&H

D&H

Tanglewood

Addictive Games

CodeMasters

Alternative

Gremlin

Gremlin

Gremlin

Empire

D&H

Ocean

Cognito

Anco

Atlantis

Krisalis

Ocean

Ocean

Qual-Soft

MicroProse

Grandslam

Grandslam

Anco

E&J

CRL

Gremlin

Grandslam

Alternative

Cult

Cult

Players

CodeMasters

Imagine

Johnson Scanatron

Goliath Games

D&H

US Gold

Artic

Virgin